Head for the corner and mark out your territory
Deposit a large amount of phlegm to occupy that awkward moment between flopping and dropping
Tell filthy jokes to nobody in particular
Play soap hockey
Try freestyle. 'Look Mum, no hands'
Compare hangtimes with your friends
Finish with an appropriate embellishment, ie 'F ***, I needed that'
Push your mates in the back, causing complete loss of control
Wipe your hands on your pants after shaking
Scratch and adjust to a comfortable position upon completion
Splash shoes - yours or others
Wear bare feet
Eat soap lollies
Flush while somebody is using urinal. In fact don't flush at all, because some bastard might have pissed on the flush button
Cross the streams (Remember Ghostbusters?)
Shake more than 3 times, because more than 3 times is a wank
Under any circumstances, try to hand out nightclub passes or shake hands with the guy beside you.
Mince the meat in the zip
Push complete strangers in the back on the way out.
Let vision stray; you might come off second best.
The Great Unsolved Mysteries of the Urinal.
The grille versus the step
Automatic flush systems - how the f*** do they work?
Is four shakes really a wank?
Do you wipe your hands on your pants, jumper, hair or someone else?