Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?

That was a great fart! Please do another one.

I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

Forget about me, I just want to do you tonight!

You're so sexy when you're hung over.

Let's go to Hooter's for dinner tonight!

I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you and then go shopping.

Let's subscribe to Hustler!

Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses!

I'll be out painting the house.

I love it when you play golf on Sundays, I just wish you had time to play Saturday too.

Honey...our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see.

No, no, I'll take the car and have the oil changed.

Your mother is way better than mine.

Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself some new clubs.

I fully understand...our anniversary comes every year for Christ's sake, you go hunting with the guys, it's a wonderful stress reliever.

Oh come on, what do you say we get a good porno movie, a rack of beer and have my friend Diana over for a threesome?

Not the friggin' mall again. Come on let's go to that new strip joint!

Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8.

You need your sleep you big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.

I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head.

How about I get implants? Is Double D big enough for you?

Let's cancel seeing my mother! Let's stay home and get out the whips & chains!