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New taxes

NEW TAX OFFICE TAX - FOR FEMALES
To: All Female Taxpayers
From: TAX OFFICE

Re: Notice To Increase Tax (Form 1040B)
The only thing that the TAX OFFICE has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is not quite true, there is one (or should I say 2) other things: "1040 B Standard Breasts Tax Form"

Since the TAX OFFICE has decided to tax men's penises, it has come to believe that women shouldn't be left out. So they have decided that a Breast Tax is in order.

Please refer to the chart below for your tax computation:

AA cup Flat rate $ 5.00
A cup Slight rise $10.00
B cup Normal rate $15.00
C cup Over abundant rate $20.00
D cup* "Are they real?" rate $40.00

PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under AA cup is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN ENLARGEMENT!

* Females exceeding D cup should consult their tax advisor for the KNOCK YOUR EYES OUT Capital Gains tax.

Boobs Checker,
Internal Revenue Service





NEW TAX OFFICE TAX – FOR MALES
To: All Male Taxpayers
From: TAX OFFICE

Re: Notice To Increase Tax (Form 1040P)
The only thing the TAX OFFICE has not yet taxed is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it's hanging unemployed, 20% of the time it's pissed off, 30% of the time it's hard up and 10% of the time it's in the hole. On top of this, it has two dependents and both are nuts.

Accordingly, beginning January 1, 1996 your penis will be taxed according to its size.

To determine your category, please consult the chart below and confirm this information on page 2, section 7, line 3 of your standard 1040 form.

* 12-10 inches - - Luxury Tax.......$50.00
* 10- 8 inches - - Pole Tax.........$30.00
* 8- 6 inches - - Privilege Tax....$15.00
* 6- 4 inches - - Nuisance Tax.....$ 6.00
* ALL males exceeding 12 inches must file Capital Gains

Please Note: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund. Please do not request an extension.

Sincerely,
Pecker Checker
Internal Revenue Service
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