... You have more toys than your kids.
... You take up macrame, just to learn some new knots.
... you have a list by the phone for the baby-sitter ... Hospital, Family, and three 24 hour locksmiths.
... you try to get arrested, just for the handcuffs, body cavity search, humiliation scene and time in the cage.
... leather companies start giving you the wholesale to distributor discount.
... You can't pass a candle factory without drooling (or wetting your seat).
... your children ask if they can borrow your "costumes" for Halloween.
... Your body piercing set off the metal detectors at the court house.