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Waste some time
Have a donut and some coffee
While you are supposed to be working

One Liners

(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
...Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
<-------- The information went data way -------->
11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
'640K ought to be enough for anybody.' - Bill Gates, 1981
A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
All computers wait at the same speed.
All generalisations are false, including this one.
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Best file compression around: 'DEL *.*' = 100% compression
Better to understand a little than misunderstand a lot.
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
C: Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN
C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Copwight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
'Criminal Lawyer' is a redundancy.
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk.
Dain bramaged.
DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors>
Demons are a Ghouls best Friend.
Department of Redundancy Department
Did anyone see my lost carrier?
Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
Do witches run spell checkers?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
Double you drive space - delete Windows!
E Pluribus Modem
E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Hit any user to continue.
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone.
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
I.R.S: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the
process of putting them in.
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
If you only knew how naive you are...
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control!
Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at maths.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
'More hay Trigger? No thanks Roy, I'm stuffed.'
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Okay, who put a 'stop payment' on my reality check.
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
Press Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.
Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
Read my chips: No new upgrades!
Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.'
REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS!
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
Shell to DOS.Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~'
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
The name is Baud.., James Baud.
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
'Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.'
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile. You will be assimulated.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
What is a 'free' gift, aren't all gifts free?
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename!'
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
Windows: The only 8 MB virus.
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