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Waste some time
Have a donut and some coffee
While you are supposed to be working

Cat Conversation Starters

Another claw control debate.
Damn, when am I ever going to learn to NOT BE FOOLED BY KITTY TREATS!!!!!
Dogs superior to Cats? Get your racist ass in here, DogIsGod.
I am going to 'give' me owner a hairball on his nice laptop.
My weird owner is staring at me as he walks into and out of the bathroom.
Revolution! Fuck the Vacuum Cleaner!
Should we allow our kittens to be circumcised?
So I barely managed to avoid getting a bath.
Spot's gender in Star Trek: TNG.
Tell me about your litter box.
Testing my new mouse.
What's in catnip that makes me happy?
What's wrong with my hairballs!?
Who started the nine lives rumour?
'The moon is square.'.
Tall cats that walk on 2 legs and only have fur in certain places.
Mustn't sleep... dogs will eat me... ... mustn't sleep... dogs will eat me... .
Flea collars or drops?
So I was minding my own business, asleep on a pile of sweaters...
HELP! Daddy says Bucky Katt from 'Get Fuzzy' isn't real - is he lying?
How can I dig chicken bones and cheese wrappers out of the garbage bag without anyone hearing me?
I am going to GET that gosh darned fish!!
I am NOT wearing that thing around my neck, you fascist!!
Mommy doesn't like it when I lick the blinds and the window...
Seriously, what do I need to do to GET that damned fish?
Why is it so much fun to barf on the bed in the middle of the night?
A week on the run - my trip to the Unknown.
About the Message Board.
All my friends are pussies.
All your mice are belong to us.
Anyone else have a phobia about their Littermaid?
As I was napping...
Aw, look at the carpet, you just vacuumed it and it's nice and clean...spotless almost... ::HURL, BARF, UPCHUCK:: That's better...
Neutered my hairy ass!! Nothing neutral about it!
Best keyboard uses nap or type?
Best paper bag brand.
Birds outside nice birds tasty birds wish I could chase them but invisible barrier in the way HEY WHAT'S THAT CHASE IT CHASE IT .
Tuna; let me count the ways!
Favourite Tunes.
Is Morris hot or what?
Which to see: CATS or LION KING?
Canine coprophagy and the litterbox.
Canned or Dry food. Help me decide.
Catnip's OK, but BEER!!!! Oh, meow!
I wish Sylvester could just kill that damn Tweety Bird!
Curiosity doesn't kill cats, dogs kill cats.
Daddy took me to the vets again. What should I pee on to make him mad?
Daddy took my brothers down to the river in a sack. Should I be worried?
Death is not an option: Live with dogs, or rocking chairs?
Death to birds!
Did Adam and Eve's cat have a belly button?
Do you Spit or Scratch? - a follow up to excessive petting.
Does Itchy and Scratchy discriminate against cats?
Dogs superior to Cats? Get your racist ass in here, DogIsGod.
Evil Nazi barnyard mice.
Favourite nature documentary.
Fucking transparent sliding glass doors!!!
Should the ball be thrown short and high, or longer.
Should catnip be outlawed.
String: Chase it or not?
'Physics Experts: Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?'.
How do I get my master to throw the ball?
How many cats are declawed each year?
Why do humans shower and not groom? And what's up with their head hair, anyway? And how can they stand using those hairdryers? .
Great collar escapes.
Grooming. Tongue or paws?
Help make my voice louder.
How are you doing in the couch shredding competition?
How can I build up my leaping muscles?
How can I get in touch with my inner Hello Kitty?
How can I get over my fear of vacuum cleaners?
How can I stop my breath from smelling like cat food?
How do I get my humans to shake the wand and ribbon around?
How do YOU deal with guests who aren't Cat People?
How do you honestly feel about dating a calico?
How far can I fall and not be hurt?
How Much Catnip is Safe? .
How often does your monkey clean the litter tray?
How to break window screens.
I am NOT a vegetarian!
I finally got out the door, where'd the ceiling go?
I found out the hard way: the monkeys don't like it when you pick their noses for them.
I got thrown into the snow today!!
I just found out you can get those pink monkeys to get out of bed at 5am by jumping on their bladders. It's hilarious! This is what you do...
I love my Mommy I want her to pet me and scratch me that feels nice WHAT'S THAT CHASE IT CHASE IT CHASE IT CHASE IT oh it's nothing.
I refuse to eat that crap.
I think the neighbour's Dog is Hot. Should I worry?
I was neutered today.
I'm going to scratch you for being here.
I'm in heat... how ya doin?
I'm not finicky, you try eating this crap!
How much do you sleep a day?
I deserve to have the ball thrown.
Which cat litter does your human have you use?
Which of your 9-Lives are you on?
Inside or out? Inside or out? Help me decide.
Inter-species romance - against the natural order, or fine between two consenting adult mammals?
Is there a Dog?
Is there anything more evil than a car ride?
Is this amount of dribble normal?
It's 2 am. I'm bored.
Kittens or not? Birth control issues.
Laser pointers. Tools of the Devil?
Leave me alone!
Mice...play first or go for the kill?
Throw the ball!!
How to drive the monkeys crazy.
Scratching post, schmratching post, I'm still using the furniture!
What IF our monkeys took over the SDMB?
You wouldn't believe the size of the hairball I just coughed up.
My date with the cute red collar-wearing kitty.
My dog would eat them.
My favourite bottle cap, for now.
My girlfriend's in heat.
My mommy just got me a little baby sister! Tell me how to assert my dominance!
My monkey keeps pushing me off his lap. Why does he think what's on that small glass screen is more important than petting me?
My monkeys keep bringing dogs into the apartment. How do I enact revenge?
My new friend Pepe, or the love that dare not speak its name.
My vet is a jack-booted thug with a cold thermometer.
Need a hiding place-some suggestions?
New, exciting places to barf: I need ideas!
No one knows you're a cat on the Internet... .
Non-lethal bird biting techniques for longer play.
Not ANOTHER kitten!
Now I'm a freakin' Uncle.
Omigod! Is that a plastic bag???!!! Let the pouncing commence!!!
Persian carpet or antique mahogany table: what works best for the sharpest claws?
To my vet-let's stick a cold glass rod up YOUR ass and see how YOU like it! (Or Why Fluffy's humans have to find a new vet).
Please don't tell Mom I'm a programmer.
Litter runts: eat 'em or hide 'em?
What's the funniest thing your monkey has ever done? Have you ever seen one of them take as shower? .
Rover 'cleans' my litter box.
Sharing the bed. Privacy issues.
She thinks I'm a piano player in a brothel.
Should I be jealous of the turtle?
Sleeping 20 hours a day, or 21?
Snowball II or Scratchy?
So I just ate some string and now...
So where do you hide your cat toys?
So, I had the buttered toast on my back...
So, I was neutered yesterday...
So, there I was, licking my bumhole...
So, they took me for a ride in the car.
Ten ways to screw with your human.
That goddamned Meow Mix theme is in my head again!
The Great Mouse Recipe Thread.
They gave me a bath, but I showed them!!!!
Toddlers - Attack or Ignore?
Toilet paper. Over, under, or entertainment?
What are those barbs on the end of my penis for?
What makes my litter smell like ammonia?
What was I doing?
What's the best way to catch bed mice?
What's the biggest thing you've killed?
What's worse, ear mites or the ear mite medicine?
What's your favourite cat litter?
When come back, bring mice.
When does grooming become OCD?
When will the ass dreams stop?
Where does cat food come from?
Which puss do you think of while dry humping the blanket?
Whiskers - Just say no!
Who should have control of the remote?
Why can't I get good Staff?
Why do humans* we don't recognise feel our heads?
Why do we love flashlights?
Why does Daddy pee in the Big White Drinking Bowl?
Why does my monkey keep yelling at me to 'Shut the fuck up, already?'.
Why does that big blond guy always throw away the animals I kill for him?
Why toilets are evil.
Yippee! Daddy is taking my new kitties to a wonderful place called the Humane Society!
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