A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars
You don't need a support group to go to the bathroom
You can leave a hotel bed unmade
You get extra credit for the smallest act of thoughtfulness
Sex means never having to worry about your reputation
You don't have to shave below your neck
If you're 34 and still single nobody even notices.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the comfort of the passenger seat
Flowers fix everything
You can eat a banana in a hardware store
One mood all the time
You can whip your shirt off on a hot day (in theory).
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid
The world is your urinal
With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries - in theory at least.
External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs
Even if you get your head stuck in an industrial wood chipper, you're not allowed to cry.
Ribbed for HER pleasure...not yours
You have to wear ties
You can't flirt your way out of a jam
Women and children first.