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Have a donut and some coffee
While you are supposed to be working

Pull Over Driver

A police officer pulls a bloke over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer:
May I see your driver's license?

Driver:
I don't have one. I had it suspended for exceeding .05

Officer:
May I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver:
It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer:
The car is stolen?

Driver:
That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer:
There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver:
Yes mate. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the boot.

Officer:
There's a BODY in the BOOT?!?!?

Driver:
Yes, mate.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his back up. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain:
Sir, can I see your license?

Driver:
Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.

Captain:
Who's car is this?

Driver:
It's mine, officer. Here's the registration papers.
The driver owned the car.

Captain:
Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver:
Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain:
Would you mind opening your boot? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver:
No problem.
Boot is opened; no body.

Captain:
I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the boot.

Driver:
Yeah, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, as well.
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