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Caught@Work Productions
Waste some time
Have a donut and some coffee
While you are supposed to be working

Retail Sarcasm

Customer: What sizes does the coffee come in?
Me: Small, medium, and large.
Customer: What's the difference?
Me: One is small, this one is bigger, and this one is bigger still.
Customer: Oh.

Customer: What flavors do these come in?
Me: These come in raspberry or blueberry.
Customer: What's the difference?
Me: These have raspberries, and these have blueberries.
Customer: Oh.

The lady who points, across the store, at a fridge full of various kinds of juice:
Lady: What's that? [meaning, presumably, what kind of juice is that one, top shelf, second from the left, or something]
Me: Its a fridge.
Lady: Oh.

Customer: How much is this bike and what colors does it come it?
Employee: The red one marked $59.95?
Customer: Yes
Employee: Its $59.95 and it comes in red
Customer: Thank you

Customer: What kind of film should I get?
Me: It depends on what kind of camera you have, and how far away you will be.
Customer: I have a Nikon, and Ill be in Sydney.

Customer: I'm looking for a new movie, its called The Animal.
Me: Its on the New Release wall over there. (I point)
Customer: Which one?
Me: The blue on that says The Animal on it.

Customer: Are your mashed potatoes real?
Me: Yep, they're made freshly every morning.
Customer: I mean, are they REAL potatoes?
Me: Yes.
Customer: Made from actual potatoes?
Me: No you moron, by potatoes I mean the same stuff that exists inside your head that you like the call your brain but we both know is a pile of shit, of course they're really fucking potatoes.

Customer: I need a video game for my son.
Me: Ok, what kind of games does he like?
Customer: I'm not sure.
Me: Well, how old is he?
Customer: Almost five.
Me: *blank stare* You want a video game for a five year old?
Customer: Yeah, what ones are good for that age?
Me: None of them. Running or skipping, they're good games for a 5 year old. There are no video games that are good for your five year old. Please remove yourself from my presence. Your television is not a babysitter. You moron.

Me: Library, how can I help you?
Customer: Hello, is this the library?
Me: Yes it is.
Customer: Do you have books?
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