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Months Part II

July
Woohoo. Birthday month. Actually I don't overly like my birthdays. I get what I ask for, but where's the fun in getting what you ask for. I want surprises. I don't want to provide a list 6 weeks in advance. There is no public holiday in July. It's also the middle of winter, so a day off would do no good anyway. It's not like I could play around in all the snow, simply because it doesn't snow in Melbourne and I'm not driving for three hours and going through the pain of putting on snow chains, packing the thermos, and getting into the ski pants and skis and kids whining in the background (are we there yet, are we there yet) simply to see wet, white stuff. Nah, July is merely OK.
B

August
I hate August with a passion. For some reason around the first and second weeks of August I always get either hay fever, sinus or some other fricken' disease that pisses me off for two weeks straight. This month I hate with a passion and there's no fricken' public holiday either.
D

September
Spring springs eternal in September. Unlike most of the planet, we celebrate the change of season on the first of the month. This goes back to the early days of the armed forces when summer uniforms of shorts and shorts would be mandatory commencing in Spring. The armed forces could never agree whether the season started on the 21st or 22nd (you know, the equinox thing) so they made a rule that the season started on the 1st of the month, and so a hundred years later, we still start the seasons on the 1st. No public holiday either, we used to get a day off for 'Show Day', but the freakin' Kennett Government canned that (shit heads).
B

October
No public holiday in October either. I think we should redesign the way in which our public holidays are awarded. Haven't had a day off since June for fucks sake. Let's just make up a day off for October. We shall call it 'The 8th Month Holiday'. Yes, I know that October is the 10th month, but 'oct' is from the Latin for eight, so if I want to celebrate the 8th month holiday in the 10th month I will, dammit.
C

November
I am so happy I live in Melbourne. On the 1st Tuesday in November, the Melbourne Metropolitan Area gets the day off for 'Melbourne Cup Day'. An incredible day where at 3:20pm the whole fricken' country stops to watch a horse race.
Said American writer, Mark Twain, on a visit: "Nowhere in the world have I encountered a festival of people that has such a magnificent appeal to the whole nation. The Cup astonishes me." Not that I go to see the cup, I just like the idea of having a day off to not watch a horse race.
B

December
Ahhh, the silly season. The school holidays start in earnest for the kids. They are off for around 6 weeks of enjoyment in the pool (for two days), then with their play station (another 2 days) and then for the rest of the time, it's nothing but 'I'm bored' (and it's at this time that I thank the Gods for letting me be employed, so I can escape to work).
And, for the rest of us, it's that time of the year when we are mandated to exchange gifts and cards with people we don't really like, but were introduced to 12 years ago at some get together and therefore are forced to keep the profit levels of Hallmark up.
I kinda like this month, because you can slack off. There is less traffic on the roads as everyone goes away for holidays. The high speed internet connection from work is twice as fast. There's no-one parked behind me in the car park. You can have a three hour lunch twice a week and everyone expects you to. I love December.
A
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