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Months Part I

I used to hate January. It's the hottest month of the year (yes, down under in Australia, in Melbourne it regularly gets above 35C which is about 105F during January). All the gift giving and staying up to see the New Year are past and then there's nothing. No more parties. One crappy holiday (Australia Day) in which you never do anything anyway. Now I love January. Last September, we had a pool installed and air-conditioning, and I am waiting for that long, hot, El Nino effect to head my way so I can lay back in the pool and when I'm nicely lobsterised I can come into the air-conditioned house. Rock on January.

February is almost as good a January with regards to the heat. The kids have gone back to school. February has that silent 'r' thing. It has the changing mood every four years. I like short months, they get me to my birthday earlier. It's still watermelon month. The worst part is that despite the junk mail from your local supermarket, you cannot take a week off to celebrate 'Fresh Food Week'. There is no public holiday in February which sucks.

Time starts to march on in March (oh, I crack me up). It's also the time of the vernal equinox and any month that has an equinox is good enough for me. It's my 1st kids birthday, so this year we'll probably end up with a dozen kids running around the house spilling Coke and Pepsi over the carpet. Out, out, damn kids. It's only Autumn. Go play in the fricken' pool. I don't care it's only 20 degrees. You wanted the fricken' thing, you go play in the fricken' thing.

Autumn has really set in now. The leaves on the trees are a'changing. The fools are out and about (well, on the 1st day anyway). The 2nd kids birthday pops up. We get a day off on the 25th (or the closest Monday) for ANZAC day. That's one thing I like about Australia, we recognise important events in history by celebrating them with a day off work. And just in case the actually day off doesn't end up a long weekend, we have the Monday off instead. Real traditionalists we are.

May sucks. It's just before winter kicks in. The fricken' trees have dropped their fricken' leaves right into the fricken' pool, so guess what I get to do for the rest of the fricken' month of fricken' May. No fricken' day off in this month either.
: Apparently I am not permitted to hate May. Miss Fiona berated me severely just before lunch time today to advise that May is the best fricken' month of the whole fricken' year, just because each time this month comes around, she becomes one year older. Yeah, like at her age she should be happy getting older. God, in just a few short years, she is going to be on depends and leaking with every step. So, in support of her love for the month with the shortest number of letters, I am revising my rating. Oh, and if you wish to support Miss Fiona, then each and every year on the 29th of this wonderful month (gag), you should wish Miss Fiona a happy birthday by sending best wishes through to her email at: deckwench@ballast.com (That'll teach her to berate ME!)

Queen's Birthday long weekend coming up. Guaranteed! Australia, being an anarchist syndicalism commune, oops, I mean Constitutional Monarchy, gets a day off to celebrate the birth of our Monarch. Doesn't mean squat that she wasn't born on this day, or even in this month. It has something to do with her dad, George VI, whose birthday was in the shit cold part of the English winter, so they decided to move it to the middle of their summer so they could all have a nice day off in the sun. The tradition continues, albeit in our winter.
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