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Waste some time
Have a donut and some coffee
While you are supposed to be working

Means Tricks I Played on my Sibling

When I was about 8 years old I grabbed my 11 year old brother and threw him into the very small bathroom (no mean feat in itself) and ... err, how do I say this discretely ... farted into the very small room and pulled the door closed so he couldn't get out. As he tried to wrestle the door open, his screams of disgust caused me to laugh so hard I could barely breathe. Something you must understand about my early youth was that the stench of my anal emissions suggested a diet high in road kill and beans.

In my youth, the family would give treats to our dog that he basically would suck on for a while and drop, which resulted in lots of crumbs and smallish pieces over the carpet. Once, my brother, sitting in front of the TV quite late at night, started yawning slowly. You know, those big open mouth, accompanied by large sounds, type yawns. On the spur of the moment, and without truly contemplating the consequences, I felt around on the floor, grabbed a left over dog treat bit and chucked it straight at his mouth. It was a perfect shot. Nothing but net. He gagged as it hit his uvula and launched himself at me, grabbing other left over dog treats and stuffing them right in my mouth. I couldn't stop him, I was laughing so much.

As you can tell, my brother and I were in constant battle with each other. One of the less contrived tricks was to pull off either one or both of his shoes and throw it into the backyard. When he went out after it I'd shut and lock the door leaving him outside.

The more gross things we used to do was when we were wrestling on the floor. The winner would be the one who could place their own mouth fully over the others nose, and then blow. The worst part of this was when you finally got your mouth over their nose, if you weren't quick enough, the other one would blow first, leaving you with a mouth full of snot.

I love my brother (of course), but he's a lazy, lazy bastard. He used to wait until I went to the kitchen and saying 'oh, while you're up can you bring me ... .' Once he asked for a glass of water, so I rattled some ice cubes, ran the water, and brought out an empty plastic cup. Two steps from him I pretended to trip over and threw the cup forward towards him. That's the fastest I think I've ever seen him move.

A few quick ones that my brother used to get me back.
He used to put dirty stinky socks or underwear in my pillowcase just before bed. It took a few minutes for the smell to really hit.
He once super glued a 5 cent coin to my forehead when I was 8.
When I got my first car, my brother put a few small stones into the hubcaps. The next time I drove it I thought the wheels were falling off (I know nothing about cars by the way).
At a party, he put salt into everyone's drink, except mine. I copped the blame, despite my protestations.
B for Bastard
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