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Useless Keyboard Keys

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Not sure what these little suckers are used for in English (be it Australian English, New Zealand English or English English). Sure they're useful when writing in a programming language (they generally refer to a repeatable loop), but what's the point of having curly brackets on every single keyboard ever manufactured, just in case you want to write a crappy piece of code that will probably and simply loop forever, displaying the words 'Hello World' over and over and over. Duds.
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~
For those of you who don't know, this is called a tilde. According to http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=tilde, it is a diacritical mark ( ~ ) placed over the letter n in Spanish to indicate the palatal nasal sound (ny), as in canyon. Don't you love dictionaries that when you look up a word, you have to look another word that they've used to describe a word that you had to look up in the first place. Diacritical means distinguishing. Well fucking say distinguishing then you pack of literary, vocabular smart arses.
Anyway, back to tilde, which doesn't rhyme with Hilde. I now know what it's used for, and just quietly, this is another useless key. How many people want to write canyon instead of canyon? Especially on an English keyboard? If the Spanish want to use this key, then buy a Spanish keyboard. For Christ's sake, we don't we have an umlaut (which is the two dots you also see over non English words) why should you get a diacritical mark.
I suppose that math's majors use a tilde to mean approximately? Yeah, well, math's is supposed to be an exact science, so what the fuck do you need an approximately for anyway. Bit too hard to come up with the right answer, so well give it a 'close enough'? So now they're all smarmy that they get their own friggen' key. Yeah, well, you don't get one for Pi, so suck on that, losers.
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@
Ok, ok, so you think this is an at symbol, well it's not. It's called a commercial a. It's just pronounced at. So while smart arses like me can use the commercial a in their site name, you smart pricks who use it as a substitute for the letter a are really just a bunch of dorks who will first up against the wall when the revolution comes. Am@zing is pronounced amatzing. Fucking dorks.
However, the commercial a is very handy for those who like to write email (or more specifically, like to type in email addresses). But given it's sitting atop the 2 key and you have to shift at the same time to get it, you would have thought that the powers that be would have replaced one of the dorkier keys with the commercial a so you get it in one stroke.
What, you don't think they can re-layout the keyboard just for those who use email. Well, let me tell you this bud, Microsoft is so powerful it can get a fucking windows key on your board (even if you don't use windows), so what didn't they also stick in a dedicated commercial a at the same time.
A for need, D for usability.

#
In English English or Australian English this is called a hash. It's also known as an octothorpe. In American English, this is now being called a pound. Does this mean that American English assumed that a # can also be used as the symbol for a quid (English English slang term for their currency, which is actually called Pounds Sterling, you parochial bastards).
Oh, it's an absolutely useless key on your keyboard. Unless it has some relationship to some antiquated math's symbology that died when Pythagoras was eaten by the lion in the Coliseum.
Now, on your telephone, the hash key is being used more and more to enable you to spend countless frustrating hours on the telephone randomly pushing buttons when caught in the labyrinth of voice mail and automated ordering systems. I think American English may have been forced to capture the true meaning of the use of this key. Pound, pound, you pound away on the friggen' key every couple of seconds.
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Pause
Exactly what is the purpose of the pause key? I personally think this is to be used on Monday mornings when someone comes across to your desk, starts talking to you about weekend football until your brain starts to resemble a mad cows, you can immediately press the pause key and they'll stop, thus enabling you to go outside for a cigarette. I've never been game enough to try it, just in case it works and the whole planet stops revolving.
A for potential, D for reality.

Scroll Lock
Now this key seems to be a companion to Pause and Sys Rq. OK, so when I press Scroll Lock, the vault around the Dead Sea Scrolls locks, never to be opened until I press the key again? Nuh, didn't think so. What is the function of this sucker? Hey, maybe you can remap your keyboard and have Scroll Lock perform the function of the commercial a.
A for potential, D for actual use.

Sys Rq.
The third of the Stooges, along with Scroll Lock and Pause, a key that does nothing, regardless of the combinations (and permutations for those smart arse mathematicians out there) I use. From now on I shall call this key Moe.
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