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Cheese Flavoured Snack Foods

CC's Tasty Cheese Flavoured Corn Chips.
Not to be used as an ingredient in cakes which is why it contains Anti-Caking Agent (551). If used, turns your cake into foul, corny, cheesy tasting piece of crap. Who in their right mind makes a snack out of corn for Christ's sake. Corn is to be eaten on the cob, as a meal.
1st observation was that there was only a single 'CC' that resembled the depiction on the packet. Every other 'CC' had either a broken corner or worse. I chose the unbroken 'CC' (as that one is most likely what the makers intended) and followed the standard methodology.
Smells of something, but not cheese. More like feet after they've been subjected to a marathon enclosed in socks and tight fitting runners that have been the home to a truck load of rotting fish for the last 6 months.
Gagged and then waited, trying to gain the confidence to continue with the actual eating.
Crunches like cardboard although if you leave it only a short time, goes soggy like biscuits in tea. Good for Granny, but not good for me.
Tastes more like garlic than cheese (garlic is not listed as an ingredient).
Hard corny bits get stuck in your teeth.
Taste lingers for a significant amount of time, daring you to eat another (not likely).
Slogan is 'You can't say no' to which I say 'oh yes I friggin' can'.
Breath smells likes a dragons arse.

Cheezels Cheese Flavoured Snacks.
Also contains Anti-Caking Agent, but this time it's 504 which turns your cake into a foul, cheesy tasting piece of crap, but without the corn.
1st observation is that every Cheezel was intact. They did not resemble the depiction on the packet, but then again, I don't want to be eating a snack that has arms, legs, a wry grin and a motto that reads 'A Hole lot of Fun'. Now that has a different connotation that I'm used to.
Smells like cheese. Kind of. Cheese is listed as the 4th item along with 2.7% after it, so I suppose it's actually got cheese in it. And not limburger like the CC's.
Has a hole so you can poke your tongue through it, and if your fingers are small enough, can also be worn as a ring and nibbled on. Sort of like snack jewelery.
Crunches nicely.
Eventually goes soggy, but takes a while.
Doesn't taste like cheese, but doesn't taste like feet either.
Taste doesn't linger (still have the fish foot of CC's in there I think).
Says eat more. So I do.

Doritos Cheese Supreme Corn Chips.
Another corn snack. What is it with corn and cheese ... and garlic. At least this one lists the garlic.
Opened the packet and the first smell is like a room at a school camp. Smelly, sweaty, unwashed jocks, almost dusty, but definitely not clean. They only list cheese powder on the packet, so by the smell, it's limburger again.
Most of the chips are in their triangular shape, albeit isosceles rather than the depicted equilateral.
Has the texture of corn and rock, ground up by Neanderthals, bashing the corn between rocks and leaving the rock behind.
Eventually gets soggy, but in the meantime, the sharp edges when the chip is crunched are capable of being used as scalpels. One chip, two cuts in the mouth and with the amount of salt being used here, not a happy feeling.
Tastes not of cheese, but not of dragons arse either.
Try another one and once the flavour has been sucked off, left with something you could build a house out of. Foul.
If they could get the flavour onto something less like a rock and more like something edible, would be a decent snack.
As it is ...

Shapes Nacho Cheese - Flavour you can see.
Smells of vinegar (possibly the Worcestershire sauce), but it's not overpowering like soaked nappies, more like a nice dose on your fish and chips.
With a name like 'Shapes' one could expect the best shape and that, they've done well. None of this triangular shit here. A machine built to make these shapes is cool in my opinion.
Quoted as flavour you can see, that's a claim that's true. Red bits, white bits, yellow bits, you can see 'em all. What they are is really unknown, but one trusts that they are actually flavour and not some left over bits of ground up rat or shoe.
Doesn't necessarily taste of cheese, initially, it is more of the vinegar.
As the vinegar is absorbed into your taste buds, the flavour of the cheese comes through. Through? Try overpowering. It is vintage tasty cheese this. Not limburger or some other smelly, foot, fish, underwear stuff, but a real flavour of cheese.
Cheese is listed at number 3. Not cheese powder, or cheese essence, or 'cheese like smell' that's been harvested from a podiatry clinic, but cheese.
And they're baked so they're good for you!
Not so, with 1,620mg of sodium per 100gm they are the biggest supplier of your intake of salt today, so maybe baked isn't so good after all.
All up they get a ...

Twisties Cheese.
I've eaten Twisties since I was a little boy, but I wonder if I've ever really tasted them. Sitting, helplessly before me is a packet of 100g. Serving size is 50gm, so I get to complete 2 servings before this test is over.
Upon opening the packet the first smell is cheese.
True cheese. Not old mouldy. Not vintage foot. Cheese. Which is surprising gathering from the ingredients that they are only using cheese powder. This must be the expensive cheese powder not tainted with mouse droppings.
The shape of a Twistie cannot be described. See the left column for a pic. Really looking like small dinosaur droppings, they have a honeycomb like texture when bitten into. No shards here, only the sweet, sweet taste of cheese.
No garlic.
No vinegar.
No foot.
No taint of anything, but true cheese.
They don't go soggy until you want them to.
The taste lingers just long enough to appreciate the sweet, sweet cheese before the hand plunges time and time again into the packet like Norman Bates in a shower.
As Homer would go ... Mmmm, Twisties.
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