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Waste some time
Have a donut and some coffee
While you are supposed to be working

Methods of Reproduction

Produce a substance that attracts insects. Let the insects eat some. Meanwhile have pollen nearby that the insects can't help getting on themselves and let them carry it to other plants when they choose to alternate their dining choices. Beautiful method of reproduction.

Place the seed in a edible substance that animals will eat. The seed is indigestible in the animal (hopefully). When the animal defecates and buries the excrement the seed will be in fertilized ground. Tasty method of reproduction.

Produce inedible lumps on the root. When the plant dies these lumps will sprout many 'baby' plants in close proximity that will have to compete with each other in the same depleted soil. What the fuck were you thinking of potato?

Long and convoluted method of having to ring up other member of the species, organise a date and time by when you are expected to have accumulated a significant amount of money in order to purchase the other member of the species food and drink (and potentially jewelry). You consume said food and drink. Too much food and drink causes increased desire, but decreased performance. You are then required to convince the other member of the species to remove all of their clothes, which if you've have consumed too much food is a good thing to get those jeans undone from around your bloated waist, but if you've consumed too much drink hampers your ability to stand up, much less remove all of the clasps and buttons, belts and buckles. Assuming you get this far, you are then required to jiggle around with the other member of the species until you exchange some fluids which may or may not be exchanged in a manner which contributes to reproduction. Can everyone say eeewwwwww?

Lose a limb. Grow a new limb. Lost limb grows a new body. How much simpler can you get?

Eject ova into the surrounding water. Eject sperm into the surrounding water. Let something else worry about getting them together.
Hint: Avoid swimming in coral reefs around reproduction time.
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